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Here at Dear Darkling, we think everyone is beautiful. We wanted to curate some body positive items of all kinds for our readers, knowing that they need their inspiration to have a healthy dose of darkness and snark, plus liberal use of the F-word. So let’s skip the birds, flowers, candy colors, and sickeningly sweet inspirational messages and tell it like it is with these sassy items from around the internet.

RIP Beauty Standards Unisex Shirt

Image via VagArchy

Society’s judgmental thinking has to die. This headstone print T-shirt is made of 100% super-soft ringspun cotton and goes up to unisex size 5X. Use CODE VAG10 to get 10% off a purchase of $50+, or sign up for their newsletter and get 15% off your purchase (no minimum purchase required). VagArchy//$29.99+

Shut Up; You’re Cis Sticker

Image via Fleetingprecision Art

The shop description reads, “Rude, round waterproof sticker for when you’re tired of cis people giving their ‘opinions’ on trans issues.” The eyeroll says it all. You may need a lot of these. Fleetingprecision Art//$1.18

Crone Witch T-Shirt

Image via Merch Maniacs.

With age comes wisdom, grace, confidence, and the ability to curse those little bastards that keep dropping cigarette butts on your lawn just by looking at them. Crow’s feet? Try crow’s claws, you little punks. Merch Maniacs//$11+

Queer Witch Necklace in Black and Silver

Image via NYXTURNA

You’re here, you’re queer, you’re a witch…They’ll have  to deal with it. Silver-plated enamel necklace with 16″ chain. Comes in two other colors.  NYXTURNA//$24

Merkin Oil

Image via by Alex MoeHagen via  Strange Fire & Fumery

“From your pits to your tits, from your head to your hedgerow, Merkin Oil is good for hair wherever it’s found.” Dare to have hair, and treat it well. This artisan oil contains apricot seed oil and virgin organic hemp seed oil to condition your beautiful body hair. Scent is pink lady apple clary sage. Strange Fire & Fumery is owned by Dear Darkling‘s own Jinx Strange, so you know the quality will be excellent. Strange Fire & Fumery//$18

You Will Be Too Much For Some People Shirt

Image via Turner and Pooch Co.

Available in two styles, this shirt knows what darklings the world over have discovered: You’re an acquired taste, and that’s okay. We love the natural hair silhouette on this version, and as a bonus, each shirt sold benefits Breakfast 4 Backpacks, which helps feed food-insecure kids. Sold. Turner and Pooch Co.//$23 (on sale this January)

Mermaid Stickers

Image via Spidersaurus.

We’re down with pretty much anything from this shop, but the mermaid stickers– with their hard femmes of all shapes, sizes, and species– are our absolute favorite. They also offer custom mermaid portraits, so you can swish out with your fish out. Spidersaurus//$7 for 3 stickers

“Choice” Transgender Pride Flag Shirt in Black

Image via Agile Expressions

Because idiots need this explained to them. Spread the word and look great doing it. This T-shirt is 100% pre-shrunk, ringspun cotton. Agile Expressions//$21+

Nerdy Dirty Inked and Curvy Mug

Image via Look Human

Well, this pretty much sums me up. What about you? This mug comes in 11- and 15-ounce sizes, and is dishwasher and microwave safe. Look Human//$17.99 and $19.99

Fuck Eurocentric Beauty Standards Button

Image via RadicalButtons1

This Etsy shop has lots of great body positivity merchandise. Use this button to tell people what you think about narrow views on beauty. Available in several sizes. RadicalButtons1//$2.06+

Male/Female/Super Villain Non-binary Notebook

Image via Fop Doodles

This amusing hand-painted notebook knows what’s really important. Use it for sketching pictures, writing grocery lists, or keeping track of your plans to take over the world.  Fop Doodles//$7

Fat Bitch Tee (Black)

Image via Fat Girl Flow Merchandise

Embrace the term and throw it back in haters’ faces with this tee from the inspiring plus-sized beauty blog Fat Girl Flow. Available in sizes up to 4x. Fat Girl Flow Merchandise//$27.99

Body Positive Feminist Stickers

Image via GrrlGangArt

Stick it to ignorant jerks. This set has three inspirational decals features original drawings of unconventional beauties from UK artist Taynee Tinsley. GrrlGangArt//$8.42

My Body, My Choice Iron On Patch

Image via halfstitchembroidery

Sassy Sally the skeleton is here to remind us to love ourselves. This embroidered patch by @roamingearthling is just one of the great body positivity and feminist items available from this Glasgow embroidery company. Available on Etsy. Halfstitchembrodiery//$7.04

Trans Bodies Are Sexy Pin

Image via Pleasure Pie

Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. The 1″ round button-style pin can also be bought in sets of 12 for a discount. Pleasure Pie//$2

Small Boobs Big Dreams T-shirt in Black

Image via Ello Ello Store

Show that you’re just fine with your body the way it is, thankyouverymuch, with this empowering T-shirt. The relaxed, semi-fitted style comes in eight color options and unisex sizes up to 3X. Ello Ello Store//$19.99+

Mind Against Body Postcard

Image via Corina Dross

“For all the ways we turn on ourselves.” This nine of clubs postcard illustration taken from Dross’ Portable Fortitude Playing Cards offers “protection from your mind turning against your body.” Frame it and hang on your wall, or send it to a friend. Discount listings available for multiple copies. Corina Dross/$2.25+

 Open Letter Tee

Image via Nüself Cult

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves. It comes in black, of course. Unisex fit, 100% cotton, and printed in Canada. Nüself Cult//$12.38

Featured image via Corina Dross and Spidersaurus.

Rachel Runyan
Rachel Runyan is a darkly inclined alternative beauty enthusiast from the Pacific Northwest. She has degrees in Journalism and English. When not writing about makeup, she enjoys using makeup, looking at makeup, buying makeup, and talking to people on the internet about makeup.

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