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The Poisoners Guild is the Scentcraft Box I’ve Been Waiting For My Whole Life

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What is there that is not a poison? All substances are poisons, there is none that is not a poison. Only the dose determines that a thing is not poison.

These were the words of Paracelsus (1493-1541), and they are enshrined in the Latin maxim, Nihil Non Venenum, or “Nothing Isn’t Poison,” the official motto of the mysterious Poisoners Guild.

The self-described scentcraft collective features work by some familiar names, including Strange Fire & Fumery, Hexennacht, Moonbeams Wax Meltz, and Bomb Diggy Bath & Beauty as part of an “expertly curated scentcraft box with a deadly theme.” After just a brief glance at their website, I already knew it was what I’d been waiting for my whole life.

First, the theme and everything about it is so well thought out and gorgeous. I love the natural tones and the gorgeous sepia header image by Caroline Blicq (Hexennacht) promises an apothecary shop of heady aromas. Having already been a customer of Hexennacht (her perfumes are to-fucking-die-for – I recommend Coffin Nails, Hexenhaus, and Papa Legba) and Strange Fire & Fumery (holy shit, thank you Monsieur Étrange for making me fall in love with incense again – I recommend Black Goat, Rook, and Absinthe), my expectations are already in the stratosphere, and I am incredibly excited to be introduced to both Moonbeams and Bomb Diggy as well. According to the Guild, all of these scents are developed exclusively for these boxes.

At $40, their Master Box I initial offering is, in my professional opinion, an absolute steal. It contains:

  • 1 pack of 20 stick incense from Strange Fire & Fumery
  • 1 dram of perfume from Hexennacht
  • 1 pack of 2 wax melts from Moonbeams Wax Meltz
  • 1 bar of soap from Hexennacht
  • 1 large bath bomb from Bomb Diggy Bath & Beauty
  • 1 enamel Poisoners Guild pin

Done. Sold. Shut up and take my drachma.

Image via The Poisoners Guild.

If you aren’t convinced yet, though, check out these elevated-ass scent profiles from each company:

Nicotine – Perfume by Hexennacht

Deep, rich, Oscuro cigars. Plumes of sweet, fire-cured pipe smoke. Fresh-cut tobacco, rum-dipped cigarillos, cacao Shisha, vanillic vape clouds.

Nightshade – Wax Melt by Moonbeams Wax Meltz

Delicate hyacinths, a heady kick of musks and garden greens hiding a deadly secret.

St. Locusta – Incense by Strange Fire and Fumery

Oil-saturated wood, incense from the Temple of Jupiter, poisonous plants and deadly tinctures.

Strychnine – Soap by Hexennacht

Cerulean musk, bitter lime peel, white sage, holy grass, cedarwood, clary sage.

Mercury – Bath Bomb by Bomb Diggy Bath & Beauty

A scuffed leather armchair, a cozy fire, a steaming mug of lavender Earl Grey laced with drops of silvery poison.

Um, yes, okay.

Goodbye, paycheck. I hardly knew ye.

There is also a more budget-friendly Initiate Kit I that contains only the incense, soap, and perfume for just $25.

I’ve already snapped mine up and will gladly post a review. I’m hearing that the Master boxes are 40% sold out by the time of this writing, so I wouldn’t sit on it any longer than you have to. It’s clear that this site is going places.

Full disclosure: I pitched this article to Dear Darkling without knowing that The Poisoners Guild is managed by this site’s esteemed editor, Alex Moehagen. Check out this pin design of theirs for the Master box, though. Omg.

Illustration by Alex Moehagen.

Featured image via The Poisoners Guild.

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About The Author

I am an all-sampling connoisseur of perfumes and scented goods, She-Who-Walks-With-Large-Dogs, a moonlighting lifestyle and travel writer, a sometimes drinker of absinthe, and an all the time drinker of beer.

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